Thursday 4 May 2017

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - The scoop and digest

Writer/director James Gunn returns to serve up the next slice of MCU pie.

Chris Pratt - Quill/Star-Lord
Dave Bautista - Drax
Zoe Saldana - Gamora
Bradley Cooper - Rocket
Michael Rooker - Yondu
Karen Gillan - Nebula
Kurt Russell - Ego
Pom Klementieff - Mantis
Chris Sullivan - Taserface

Thanks to CG and cosmetic appliances, Kurt Russell looks considerably younger in 1980.

34 years later and while Baby Groot looks on, the GOTG manage to kill a giant squid-like monster on Sovereign.

Mr. Blue Sky playing during title-cum-action sequence is a stroke of genius.

In exchange for protecting precious batteries, they take Nebula with them.

After Rocket helps himself to what Gamora's estranged sister was caught stealing, High Priestess Ayesha sends drones to attack

Crash-landing on Berset (I think?), Quill's father Ego takes son, Drax and Gamora 'home', while Rocket and Groot stay put to guard Nebula and repair the damaged Milano.

Once there, Ego's bug-eyed pet empath grows attached to Drax.

Switching to the bright lights of snowy Contraxia, Yondu was exiled by Stallone's Stakar Ogord for child trafficking.

Led by Klingon wannabe Taserface, Ravager community capture Rocket and Groot.

Kraglin (still Yondu's biggest fan) sets them free, and boy in blue wipes out crew by commanding trusty telekinetic arrow with cheeky whistle.

Celestial God Ego assumed the form of a human to interact with other forms of life and met Quill's mother Meredith.

Ah, so beginning now makes sense.

Pops teaches Quill how to summon energy, but does Ego have an ulterior motive?

Yep.

It turns out Ego planted his seed inside countless women to expand his godly presence, but children couldn't access Celestial might.

Enter Quill.

He's forced into doing evil bidding, but fights back after learning Ego killed Meredith by purposely planting a tumour inside her head.

Planet's core is breached where Groot sets bomb near Ego's brain, resulting in rock's inevitable disintegration.

While the other Guardians make their escape, Yondu sacrifices himself to save Quill.

To honour Ravager, a spectacular pyrotechnic funeral is held.

"I am Groot" corrupts credit roll and in no particular order.

Kraglin's failure to control Yondu's arrow amusingly ends up with Drax getting the point, a hormonal Groot grows teenage roots, Ogord is inspired to steal some shit and High Priestess has created a new birthing machine (dubbed Adam) which will destroy the GOTG.

Finally, Stan Lee's astronaut bores a group of Watchers to tears.

Super smashing great

Better than the first?

That's down to individual opinion.

Whatever, it's just as much, if not more fun.

A hyper critical bitch (ahem) may point out chaotic climax is by the numbers, Groot is underused, Star Trek II-esque funeral is slightly cringing and cameos of Ving Rhames and Michelle Yeoh are pointless.

Also, Howard the fucking Duck is given actual scene on Contraxia.

However, special effects are fabulous and sarcastic chemistry remains consistently superb.

Drax is such a wicked bastard to Mantis and raucous laughter is genuinely hilarious.

From Cat Stevens to George Harrison, Awesome Mix Vol. 2 delights.

Pac-Man appears during end fight and credits kicks off with Cheap Trick's Surrender.

The despicable Pixels plays said song at start and features giant dot muncher as video game enemy.

Hmmm.

The Guardians will be back in Vol. 3, but until then, expect cameos in Avengers: Infinity War.

One more thing.

No raccoons or tree creatures were harmed during the making of this movie.  However, the same can't be said for the handlers of the raccoons and tree creatures.

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